Here are but a few more aviation joke I often hear from my Pilot friends during social gatherings:
Upon requesting Air Traffic Control (ATC) for landing approval a newbie Pilot was trying to figure out a garbled reply from the tower. He radio'ed back and said "Say again tower, you are coming in garbled". ATC the replied "Repeat, say your position". Coming in clear this time the newbie Pilot quicky answered "Captain".
ATC (to Pilot approaching landing pattern): "Cessna Romeo Papa Charlie Niner Two, what is your intentions?"
Newbie Pilot: "To get my Commercial Pilot's License and Instrument Rating hopefully."
ATC: "I meant in the NEXT FIVE MINUTES, not in the next few years!"
An ATC communicating with a young pretty helicopter Pilot:
Q: What's your altitude?
A: Altitude one five zero.
Q: What's your heading?
A: One seven five North.
Q: What's your speed?
A: One five zero Knots.
Q: What's your bra size?
A: 36B... AHHH SH!!!T
Another ATC - Pilot miscommunication:
Cessna Pilot: Manila tower, RP-C777, Student Pilot, am out of field".
ATC: "Roger that 777, reduce Airspeed to glide. Do you have runway in sight?"
Cessna Pilot: "Uuh... Manila tower I am still parked on East Ramp apron. Just want to know where the fuel truck is."
And finally, ATC to an identified aircraft: "Romeo Papa Charlie 157 identify, are you a Cessna?"
Pilot: "Negative Sir, I am a pure blooded Filipino from Cebu City."
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